i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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