You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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