Jerry, you need to find god
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
