yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
