Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
