I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
