drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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