I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
