Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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