3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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