There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
