i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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