had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
