Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
