But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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