My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
