Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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