I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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