okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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