there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
