I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
