Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
