In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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