windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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