Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
