god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
