Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
