It's Friday. Sex?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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