and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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