I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
