Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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