Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
