the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
