I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
