is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
