the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
