I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
