did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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