Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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