this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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