I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
