I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
