I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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