At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
