Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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