I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
