yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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