I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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