dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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