So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My pussy is not your playground.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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